URA Membership Assessment

To find out if YOU are suitable as a member for the Ural Riders Association, answer these simple multiple choice questions, then refer to the scoring at the bottom. Do not worry if this reveals worrying personality traits-we have all the best trained pyschiatric staff you could need in our club....( which is worrying in it's self)

Do you push your Ural:

A: When it breaks down

B: When you can't afford petrol

C: Cause it's such a laugh

When a valve drops out into your engine barrel,do you

A: Scream and shout, then up your medication

B: Go and live on Alderney island

C: Play the bagpipes until they bleed

Is the best sidecar for your Ural

A: Steib ( because they're soooo comfortable)

B: A Lada

C: Squire double adult

Faced with an uncomfortable wet rally weekend, do you use

A: Neurofen and an air mattress

B: MORE straw...

C: Bed and Breakfast

Who would be the best choice for a URA rally band

A: S club 7

B: Goth skiffle band 'Dead Daffodil'

C: Geff and his Harmonica mice**

You park your Ural sidecar and the handbrake fails, do you

A: Leave it in gear and pointing at the kerb

B: Wedge the wheel between an unconscious vagrant's buttocks

C: Wedge it between a skip and the kerb and hope the right one gets taken away

When reading 'Back Street Heroes' magazine, are you most interested in

A: Tastefully done photographs of motorcycles and ladies

B: Tastefully done photographs of sheep

C: The tools and spares section

Faced with a long continental motorcycle tour, do you prepare your bike with

A: synthetic 5w/50 in the sump

B: Lard in the sump ( ..and ON you)

C: 2 Tickets to Malaga

Do you find handle bar muffs

A: Comfortable and utilitarian

B: Stylish .....and rather saucy

C: Fill you mind with images of Kylie

It is a warm summers eve, with a full moon, do you

A: Trundle down the quiet bye-ways on your Ural

B: Grow lots of hair and fangs-then do A

C: Go down the pub, they have a barbeque on....

If your answers were mainly A:s just get back on your Harley, your'e not taking this seriously.

If your answers were mainly B:s your'e not Chris ....are you?

If your answers were mainly C:s Perfect....you will fit right in (so come and play with us......for ever..and ever...and ever....)

** Unfortunately Geff and his Harmonica mice have been quarantined after the last Foot and Mouse outbreak

Ohh..the perfect one-line gag...'how many Goths does it take to change a light bulb..'